Mother’s love is peace. It need not be acquired. It need not be deserved.”
– Erich Fromm
It’s my mom’s birthday month and after 4 years, we celebrated it together. I couldn’t help myself but recall everything she has done and continues to do for me. It wasn’t always quite like it, but today, she is definitely my best friend. From “she doesn’t get me and she’s not on my side,” to “hey, I tell my mom everything because she is the only one who gets it”, our bond has come a long way.
Mothers are unique and we often forget how she stayed on our side, from the day we were born, without expecting anything in return. We start defining other people as our “day-ones” but ignore that very human who invests most of their time, sweat and love on us. It’s simply unfair to compare a mother’s love with that of anybody else.
She has seen it all
From your poop, your vomit, your nose-picking, your stinking habits and girls; your first period; She has seen it all. We need to sincerely bow down and thank them for loving us despite how gross it was after all. Oh! yeah don’t forget she had you in there for 9 months and was brave enough to bring you into this world. We practically owe our lives to these ladies.
She’s your biggest cheerleader
Too quick to reach a conclusion that no one’s got your back? Give your mom a call and tell her how you feel like a failure. Now just sit back and hear her talk and remind you of every little thing you have accomplished. So, let her give you a pep talk on never giving up.
Me: “Mom, I got a photo shoot done. I look weird. Don’t I?”
Next day I wake up to my videos and photos all over her social media stories. Now if that doesn’t melt your heart, then I don’t know what to tell ya.
She’ll always think you are too young
Too young to take care of yourself. She’ll always believe that you don’t eat enough, don’t wear weather appropriate clothes and/or always forget your stuff here and there. She’ll call you to advise you on your chores and deadlines. If you’re lucky and she’s around you, she’ll feed you 24/7 and make your wear those extra piece of layers because no one cares about your well being the way she does.
She’ll try to understand even what she can’t
The world’s changed a lot and she might be unaware of the millennial ways but she’ll make efforts to understand. She’ll try to keep up by learning new technology, watch trending videos and work her way with social media so that she can connect with you. She doesn’t want to be left out of your life and she wants you to notice and acknowledge her effort. Agree or not, she wants you to be proud of her too.
She has the best solutions to all your problems
Whether you are loosing your mind over an exam, significant other, argument with a friend or issues like loosing your phone, getting stuck at a party and/or getting pulled over by a cop; she has the best solutions to your problems. She might get angry and say mean things in the heat of the moment but she’ll always come back to you to make a point that it’s okay. She’ll explain how everything happens for good and there’s always room for improvement.
She’ll celebrate your accomplishments more than her own
Mom: I have finally opened a clothing boutique near our house.
Me: I learnt a new dance move.
Quickly forgets all about her plan and gets ecstatic about my small progress. Never mentions about her ideas but asks me about mine and somehow it’s always about me and my achievements. Also, as bad as it sounds, I forget about her too.
Your mom celebrates your birthday and anniversaries more than she does for and of herself. She’ll be all excited, cook your favorite food, post the most beautiful pictures of you and make sure everyone’s aware that it’s celebration time for her kid.
She’ll straighten you up when and if you have petty problems
If you act like a loser in front of her, she’ll tell you what’s good. She’ll listen to your useless cries but if senses insignificant worries, she won’t be afraid to show you where you went wrong. She didn’t raise you to be weak and complain all the time so she wants to see a stronger and bigger person evolve out of her little one. If she has to make herself look bad in order for that to happen, she will not think twice.
She gives the best hugs and kisses
Mom Hugs are like no other. Despite of how tough the day is, one hug and pat of appreciation from mothers can make life seem almost perfect. When they said mothers’ hugs work like the best medicine to any sort of pain, they weren’t lying at all.
She takes bomb pictures of you
She is the best personal photographer out there. Until you get that perfect Instagram picture, she’ll keep taking more. It’s like she wants to help you appear the way you want and if social media acceptance does that for you, well, she has got you covered for that as well.
She doesn’t sleep until you get home
Doesn’t matter whether you are working over-time or getting home late from a party, she’ll wait for you to make sure you’re okay. She stays up worried whether you ate or not so expect delicious food served in bed, if you haven’t. The world’s nasty and she gets scared when you don’t pick up her calls to reassure her about your safe surroundings. Nobody cares the way she does.
She sacrifices more than you can imagine
Mother-daughter bond’s are special. We think we are closer to our dads but as we grow up, it makes sense as to how much our mothers have sacrificed for us girls. She fights with the rest of the family to save us from the gender bias and if not more, loves us exactly how she loves our brothers.
Mothers give up their careers, wishes, their hobbies so that we can reach where we want to be. Maybe, ask your mother of how she imagined her life 20 years ago and familiarize yourself with the extent of dreams she had to let go to keep you sane.
She is a warrior Queen
Whatever story you tell her, she’s got a better one waiting for you. Stories of her riot, back in the days, will make you realize how bad-ass she has been until now. She’ll teach you how to survive within this cruel society. Don’t be surprised if your mom turns out to be a biker and the one always ready to fight boys because I sure didn’t see that one coming.
She has the best relationship advice
No matter how much your mothers don’t wanna face the idea of you dating, she doesn’t want you to get hurt and hide your pain either. She’ll tell you whether or not you are being unreasonably difficult with your partner. If the complaints are justified, she will do everything possible to help you see your worth and get out of a toxic relationship. But, if she sees you happy with someone, she’ll also try to make it work for you.
She is the only one who can shop for you
On a personal note, my mom makes the most beautiful Indian outfits for me. I leave it completely on her and she never disappoints. Mothers know your style and preferences, maybe not completely, but she knows enough to buy something that could bring a smile on your face.
She knows you don’t like her sometimes
She knows you hate her sometimes and talk rubbish probably. But, that doesn’t stop her from loving you unconditionally. Being a mom is tough and she realizes that. You make her cry and often blame her for things that are out of her control. She doesn’t keep anything against you. She couldn’t possible win because being a mom is what she is proud of and nothing brings her more happiness than seeing her own doing good in their lives.
GIF Courtesy GIPHY
P.S – Go back to your mom today or call her and tell her how much you appreciate her. She deserves to hear that you love her too.
Fun Fact: I thought 3 months with my mom would be a very long time after having lived alone for so long. However, with each passing day, I have been realizing how difficult it’s going to be once she leaves for India. I have never felt so close to my mom before and I am grateful with all my heart.